So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I would fuck him just for his dog
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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