I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize