id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
