Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
