We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she pinky promised me she was 18
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize