Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
