you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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