I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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