He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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