He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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