omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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