i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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