She is in my trunk
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
