is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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