i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
