If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
How does one acquire holy water?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I need water and some morals
Randomize
