STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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