im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You made out with two different species that night
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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