party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
