Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize