you traded sex for a burrito?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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