We're like a lot better than the average bears
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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