mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
