so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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