D3 body, D1 cock
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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