Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
