Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
