have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
