i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
