Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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