I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
