He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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