We're like a lot better than the average bears
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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