How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
