If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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