i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Mom said you looked used
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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