Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
