I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
