my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
