girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
