you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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