if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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