Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
your thong is hanging out like whoa
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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