ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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