This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
