apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
