Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
