Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
