is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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