Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
