don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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