we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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