I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
