just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
