Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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