____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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