Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
