But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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