I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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