Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
