I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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