I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
