I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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