Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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