He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
