I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
