just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
