I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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