She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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